Updated: Jul 16, 2020
Being a parent is the happiest, most joyous, fun-filled, rewarding relationship I could have ever hoped for. Words almost can not fully express the love and joy they bring into your life. Being a parent has given me more of a sense of self, lead me to my purpose and what I should be doing in my life.
It's an exciting time because of the newness of the experience you're going to share together. It's a time of uncertainty but a great learning experience and it's the first time we realize that it is possible to love someone so deeply. This love is entirely different from loving your parents, siblings, spouse, etc. With that being said kids can make or break a relationship so it's very important to make sure you're on the same accord with your spouse.
I'm two kids in now, speaking from my own experience and I also asked 10 parents their opinion. What is an important question to ask your partner before having kids? Here is what we came to terms with:
1. Do you want children?
This question can make or break a lot of couples. It's better to know up front so you don't end up wasting your time. I have seen people trap their spouse thinking it will keep them but often times it drives them away.
2. What is your health condition?
Making sure you both are in good health and there isn't any surprises with ones health history. For instance, I didn't find out until I was pregnant that my husband carried the sickle cell trait. If both partners are a carrier we could create a child with sickle cells. Luckily I didn't have the trait. My daughter is all clear but my son is also a carrier of the trait like his father. So I have to make sure he understands how serious that is.
3. Do you know your family history?
This is so important because you never know what medical history can help you reduce your risk of developing health problems. Family members share their genes, as well as their characteristic... Risks for diseases such as asthma, diabetes, cancer, and heart disease also run in families.
4. What form of discipline you feel is best?
The word discipline means to impart knowledge and skill – to teach.
"Determining which type of discipline is right for your family should be a personal choice based on your temperament, your child’s temperament, and your family's discipline philosophies. There isn’t a single type of discipline that will work for all kids or all families and in every situation." However, people often equated discipline with punishment and control. Disciplining children is one of the most important yet difficult responsibilities of parenting, and there are no shortcuts.
Just make sure you and partner are in agreeance on your form of discipline.
5. What did you like and dislike about your own upbringing?
I really like this question. This question helps you get to know your partner on a deeper level. You might share and learn things about each other that will help you determine if that's the person you want to bring kids in the world with.
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